| "Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady d... | "When you exit the bus, please
be
sure to lowe... |
| "Where's the car?" asked Professor
Delbert's w... | A
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 h... |
| A boy sat on a train chewing gum and
staring v... | A businessman was traveling in the train
and his... |
| A driver pulled up beside a rundown
farmhouse. H... | A driver tucked this note under the
windshield... |
| A driver, obviously
drunk, was
heading the wro... | A grizzled old man was eating in a truck
stop ... |
| A guy driving a truck in the middle of
nowhere... | A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a
stoplight ... |
| A Lutheran
minister is driving down
to New Yor... | A man
walks into an auto parts store
and says ... |
| A man goes out and buys the best
car
available... | A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside,... |
| A man is driving down the road for a
long period... | A man learned shortly before quitting
time
tha... |
| A man was driving up a steep and narrow
mounta... | A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into... |
| A man was in court charged
with
parking his ca... | A man was in court charged with
parking his ca... |
| A man whose son had just passed his
driving
te... | A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fil... |
| A motorist ran into a shop.
"Do you
own a blac... | A passenger train is creeping along,
slowly. Fin... |
| a quadruple amputee is waiting at the
bus stop... | A San Francisco motorist following a
taillight... |
| A sardarji
was working as editor in
a daily ne... | A state trooper pulled a car over and
told the m... |
| A tiny
racing car was developed by
American sc... | A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in
New York o... |
| A young bloke has started work on a
property, ... | A young man comes home and says "Dad,
just got... |
| After seeing a
documentary on how
inner city y... | After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the
long l... |
| An Irish
priest and a Rabbi get into
a car acc... | Andy wants a job as a signalman on the
railway... |
| As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freew... | Auntie Gladys
bought herself a new
rear-engine... |
| Auntie Maud bought herself a new
rear-engine Eur... | Blake and his parents were
drinking
at the bar... |
| Brother: How do you top a car
?
Sister: Tep on ... | Did you ever see a country boy in New
York whi... |
| Did you hear
about the boy who had
to do a pro... | Did you hear about
the girl who was
so keen on... |
| Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pound... | Five Englishmen
in an Audi Quattro
arrive at t... |
| Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar.
Hawk sai... | How did the woman feel when she got run
over by ... |
| How do you stop a dog howling in the
back of a c... | I saw the most beautiful
cars in the
window of... |
| I was going 70 miles an hour and got
stopped b... | If an electric train travels 90
miles an hour ... |
| If you watch the way that many motorists
drive... | In a very small alley two trucks
driving in op... |
| It had been snowing for
hours when
an announce... | Jill's car was unreliable and she
called John fo... |
| Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's
Tavern ... | Learner driver: What happens when
everything's... |
| McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big... | Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
home.
Gho... |
| Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
home.'
Ghost... | Motorist: Does a deer have a
horn?
Police Offic... |
| Motorist: When I bought this car you
told me it ... | My dad is stupid.
He thinks a fjord
is a Norwe... |
| My sister's a really bad driver.
What makes yo... | Ole
and Lena were sitting down to
their usual ... |
| On Fred's 17th
birthday, his Dad
said he'd tak... | One day a guy was driving with his
4-year-old da... |
| One day there was a family driving in the
car to... | One day, two guys were driving
to a
local groc... |
| Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credit... | Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who
is
appa... |
| Police Officer: Why are you driving in a
bathi... | Police Officer: Why were you
speeding?
Women Dr... |
| Policeman:
Didn't you see that stop
sign?
Dri... | Policeman:
Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I... |
| Policeman: Are you going
to a
fire?
Motorist:... | Policeman: Did you realize you just
missed tha... |
| Policeman: Didn't you hear me
whistle at you?
... | Policeman: Didn't you hear my
siren?
Motorist: ... |
| Policeman: Didn't you see
the signs
with the s... | Policeman: Didn't you see my
lights
flashing?
... |
| Policeman: Do you know
how fast you
were going... | Policeman: How can you drive so
recklessly?
D... |
| Policeman: How can you say
you
don't have any ... | Policeman: I suppose
you're going
to tell me y... |
| Policeman: I've had my eye on you for
some
tim... | Policeman: What do you think you're
doing park... |
| Policeman: What do you think you're
doing drivin... | Policeman: Why
didn't you obey that
stop sign?... |
| Policeman: Why are you
driving
without a licen... | Policeman: Why are you
driving that
car in cir... |
| Policeman: Why are you driving on the
sidewalk?
... | Policeman: Why did
you stop your
car, get out,... |
| Policeman: Why did you
crash into
that stop si... | Policeman: Why did you lead me on a
high-speed... |
| Policeman: Why did your car
just
spin around i... | Policeman: Why didn't
you stop at
that red lig... |
| Policeman: Why have you parked your bus
here?
... | Policeman: Why were
you speeding
when I stoppe... |
| Policeman: Why were you
asleep at
the wheel?
... | Policeman: Why were you
driving
around in circ... |
| Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Driver: I did... | Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I w... |
| Policeman: Why were you
speeding?
Motorist: I w... | Q) What's worse than raining
buckets?
A) Hailin... |
| Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk ... | Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian
is cross... |
| Q: How can you reduce the possibility of
having ... | Q: How do you deal with heavy
traffic?
A: Heavy... |
| Q: How many auto mechanics does it take
to chang... | Q: How many London taxi drivers does it
take to ... |
| Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy
traffi... | Q: What changes would occur in your
lifestyle ... |
| Q: What did the first stoplight say to
the secon... | Q: What do you call a laughing
motorcycle?
A: A... |
| Q: What is the difference
between a
flashing r... | Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man
drive?
... |
| Q: When driving through fog, what
should you u... | Q: Who has the right of
way when
four cars app... |
| Teacher: "Who built the first American
car?"
S... | The only thing wrong with a perfect
drive to wor... |
| The train was about to pull out of the
station. ... | Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked
one, "what's ... |
| Two wizards in a car
were driving
along and th... | What
happens when a frog's car
breaks down?
... |
| What car do insects drive?
A
Volkswagen automo... | What did one car muffler say to the
other
car ... |
| What did the big carburettor say to the
little... | What did the jack say to the
car?
"Can I give y... |
| What did the man put on his car when
the weath... | What did the monster say when he saw a
rush
ho... |
| What do you call a group of cars ?
A
clutch ! | What do you call a person who falls onto
you o... |
| What do you call a pig who's been
arrested for d... | What do you call a pretend railway
?
A play sta... |
| What do you call a witch who
drives
really bad... | What do you call someone who draws funny
picture... |
| What do you get if
you cross a Rolls
Royce wit... | What do you get if you cross an Egyptian
mummy... |
| What do you get when you put a car and a
pet t... | What do you say to a
one legged
hitch-hiker?
... |
| What driver doesn't have a
license?
A screw d... | What happens if an
axe falls on your
car?
You... |
| What is a banged-up used
car?
A
car in first-... | What is an autobiography?
The life
story of an... |
| What is an autograph?
A chart which
shows car ... | What is evil and ugly and goes at 125
mph?
A... |
| What is the best thing to take when
you're run... | What is the difference between a
locomotive en... |
| What is the meaning of
afford?
It's the car m... | What kind of car drives over
water?
Any kind of... |
| What kind of ears do trains
have?
Engineers (en... | What part of a car is the
laziest?
The wheels. ... |
| What should a teacher take if
he's
run down?
... | What song does a car radio play?
A
cartoon (car... |
| What sort of a car has your dad
got?
I can't... | What would you have if your car's
motor was in... |
| What's the difference between a
schoolteacher ... | What's the difference between a teacher
and a ... |
| Whats black and white and red all
over?
A nun... | When I get real bored, I
like to
drive down to... |
| Where do cars get the most
flat
tires?
Where ... | Where do ghost trains stop?
At devil
crossings... |
| Which snakes are found on cars?
Windscreen vip... | While driving along the back roads of a
small to... |
| Who drives away all
his customers
?
A taxi dr... | Who drives away all of his
customers?
A taxicab... |
| Why did the car judder to a stop when it
saw a
... | Why did the man put his car in the
oven?
Becaus... |
| Why did the stupid racing car driver
make ten pi... | Why did your sister refuse the gift of a
Japan... |
| Why do you have to wait so long for a
ghost tr... | Why is an old car like a baby
playing?
Because ... |
| Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
Because ... | Why was the school
principal not
pleased when ... |
| WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It
has wa... | You know all that talk about backseat
driving?... |
