| "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering
from pneum... | "Doctor, doctor!" said the
panic-stricken woman,... |
| "The doctor said he would have me on
my feet i... | "What do you do?" a young man asked
the beauti... |
| "Why are you so
excited?", the
surgeon asked t... | 1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan
in the
re... |
| A baseball manager who had an
ulcer was in his... | A coffin was being moved
when it
fell off a wa... |
| A doctor and a nurse were
called
to the scene ... | A doctor and his wife were having a
big
argume... |
| A doctor has come to see one of
his patients i... | A doctor is going round the ward with
a nurse an... |
| A man goes to the eye doctor. The
receptionist... | A man needing a
heart transplant
is told by hi... |
| A man walks into a doctor's office.
He has a c... | A man went to see his doctor because
he was su... |
| A man who was very
upset walked
in to see his ... | A man, seeking to lose
some of
his excess weig... |
| A new arrival, about to enter
hospital, saw two ... | A nurse had to
take a patient
back to her room... |
| A nurse was
showing some student
nurses throug... | A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He
called a
... |
| A young woman went to her doctor
complaining of ... | An old fellow came
into the
hospital truly on ... |
| At a medical
convention, a male
doctor and a f... | Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better
today!
Ca... |
| Did you hear about the nurse who died
and went
... | Did you hear about the two
podiatrists who
ope... |
| Did you hear the new penalty for
speeding in I... | Doctor Doctor I feel like
biscuits!
What, you m... |
| Doctor Doctor I feel like a
racehorse.
Take one... | Doctor Doctor I feel like a
racehorse.
Take one... |
| Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
caterpilla... | Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
caterpilla... |
| Doctor Doctor I swallowed a
bone.
Are you choki... | Doctor Doctor I think I'm a
moth.
So why did yo... |
| Doctor Doctor I think I'm a
moth.
So why did yo... | Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I
do about
... |
| Doctor how can I cure my sleep
walking
?
Spri... | Doctor how can I cure my sleep
walking?
Sprinkl... |
| Doctor these pills you gave me for
BO...
What... | Doctor,
Doctor, everyone keeps
ignoring me.
... |
| Doctor, Doctor
I'm having
trouble with my brea... | Doctor, Doctor
You've got to
help me - I just ... |
| Doctor, Doctor Can I have second
opinion?
Of ... | Doctor, Doctor everyone
keeps
throwing me in t... |
| Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a
liar
I can... | Doctor, Doctor Have you got something
for a ba... |
| Doctor, Doctor I
feel like an
apple.
We must ... | Doctor, Doctor I
keep painting
myself gold
D... |
| Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm
suffering from Deja... | Doctor, Doctor I
think I'm a
moth
Get out of ... |
| Doctor, Doctor I dream there are
monsters
unde... | Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
dog!
Sit! |
| Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
spoon!
Well sit ... | Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
needle.
I see your... |
| Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
pair
of curtains
... | Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
sheep.
That's baaa... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep
getting
pains in the eye... | Doctor, doctor I keep
thinking
I'm a bee
Buzz... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking
I'm a nit
Wil... | Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking
I'm invisible
... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing
double.
Please sit... | Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an
insect spinnin... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an
insect
spinnin... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm a frog
Wha... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm a nit
Wil... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking
I'm God
When d... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm
a woodworm ... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm
God
When did... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
dog.
Sit... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
mosquito
... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
snake abo... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
snake abo... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
vampire.
... | Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a
spider
Wha... |
| Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there
is two
of... | Doctor, Doctor I need something to
keep my fal... |
| Doctor, Doctor I need something to
keep my
fal... | Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I
keep myself a... |
| Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a
lot.
Don't wor... | Doctor, Doctor I think I need
glasses
You certa... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm
an
electric eel
Th... | Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
butterfly
Will y... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
dog.
How long ha... | Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
yo-yo.
Are you s... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
bell?
Take these a... | Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
bridge
What's come... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
snail
Don't worry ... | Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python
You can't ... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber
band
Why do... | Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can... |
| Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning
into a frog... | Doctor, Doctor I'm a
burglar!
Have you taken an... |
| Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar
!
Have you taken a... | Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming
invisible.
Yes I ... |
| Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling
up!
Just simmer down... | Doctor, Doctor I'm on a
diet and
it's making m... |
| Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and
it's making m... | Doctor, Doctor I've a split
personality
Well... |
| Doctor, Doctor I've broke my
arm
in two places... | Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth,
foul breath... |
| Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can
you
give me ... | Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a
pen
Well... |
| Doctor, Doctor I've lost my
memory!
When did th... | Doctor, Doctor my
husband smells
like fish
Po... |
| Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image
of his fat... | Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a
bullet
... |
| Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just
swallowed ... | Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps
thinking s... |
| Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she
is
a lift!... | Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed
my
pen, wh... |
| Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of
my head s... | Doctor, Doctor When I press with my
finger
her... |
| Doctor, Doctor When I press with my
finger
her... | Doctor, Doctor will this
ointment
clear up my ... |
| Doctor, Doctor will this ointment
clear up my
... | Doctor, Doctor you have to help me
out!
Certa... |
| Doctor, Doctor you've
taken out
my tonsils, my... | Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my
tonsils, my... |
| Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle
of aspirin a... | Doctor, Doctor, I can't get
to
sleep.
Sit on... |
| Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of
cards.
... | Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of
bats, creepy-... |
| Doctor, Doctor, my little brother
thinks he's a ... | Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like
a tee-pee ... |
| Doctor, how do I stop my nose from
running?!
St... | Doctor:
You seem to be in
excellent health. Yo... |
| Doctor: "Good news you passed your
hearing test!... | Doctor: Did you know
that there
are more than ... |
| Doctor: Did you take the patient's
temperature?
... | Doctor: Have you ever had this
before?
Patien... |
| Doctor: Nurse, how is that little
girl
doing w... | Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do y... |
| Doctor: You seem to be in
excellent health. Yo... | Fireman rescued a
man who was
badly injured in... |
| How can you tell who is the head
nurse
of a fa... | How many doctors does it take to
change a light ... |
| How many nurses does
it take to
screw in a lig... | How many nurses does it take to
change a light b... |
| How many physiotherapists
does it
take to chan... | How many triage nurses does it take
to
change ... |
| Interns think of God, residents pray
to God, d... | Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I
fell last ... |
| Jack: "My brother was sick and
went to the doc... | Mary:
My daughter believes in
preventative med... |
| Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My
son, John, swa... | Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the
waiting
r... |
| Nurse: Would you like an appointment
for next we... | Patient (to
cosmetic surgeon):
Will it hurt me... |
| Patient:
Doctor, I think I
swallowed a pillow.... | Patient: Doctor,
what should I do
if my temper... |
| Patient: Doctor, if
I give up
wine, women, and... | Patient: Doctor, you must help me.
I'm under s... |
| Patient: I always see spots before my
eyes.
Doc... | Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I
in here?
... |
| Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red
magic markers ... | The Doctor was
puzzled "I'm very
sorry but I c... |
| The ninety-year-old man was in for
his checkup... | The nurse who can smile when
things go wrong i... |
| The patient shook his doctor's hand
in gratitu... | The patient: Tell me, is it true that
alcohol ... |
| The seven-year old girl told her mom,
"A boy in ... | The surgeon told his patient that woke
up after ... |
| There were ten zebras in the zoo. All
but nine e... | Three nurses went to heaven, and were
awaiting... |
| What do you get if you have strep
throat on Frid... | What is a double-blind study?
Two
orthopaedists... |
| What kind of physician works on a
cruise liner... | What's the difference
between a
nurse and a nu... |
| What's the difference between a
general practi... | What's the difference between a
surgeon and a ... |
| When a car skidded on wet pavement
and struck a ... | Why did the nurse always insist on
using the r... |
