| "May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Ye... | A
couple of kids tried using pickles for a
Pin... |
| A customer was bothering the
waiter in a
resta... | A customer was bothering the waiter in a
restaur... |
| A family of three tomatoes
were walking
downto... | A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
... |
| A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered
two
sl... | A friend and I were standing in line at a
fast... |
| A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he
s... | A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys
... |
| A man
went into a deli shop and took a seat
at... | A new chef from India
was fired a week after
s... |
| A tourist walked into a fish and chip shop in
... | An
irate woman burst into the baker's shop
and... |
| An elderly couple were killed in an
accident
a... | An elderly couple were killed in an accident and
... |
| And what's your name?" the
secretary asked
the... | At a dinner party, one
of the guests, an
obnox... |
| At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after
e... | Boy: What's black, slimy,
with hairy legs
and ... |
| Camper: There's
something wrong with my hot
do... | Did
you hear about the two peanuts walking in
... |
| Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to
... | Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice?
Why?... |
| Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
slice
of... | Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.
I ... |
| First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her
... | Flo: Try some of my sponge cake.
Joe: It's a
b... |
| Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is
... | Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found
you
wit... |
| Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch
tod... | Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones?
Mrs
J... |
| Have you got any broken
biscuits?
Yes, I
hav... | Have you heard the story about the
loaf of
bre... |
| How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots
(c... | How can you tell the
difference between a can
... |
| How do you know that a elephant's been in the
fr... | How do you make gold soup?
Put 14 carrots in
it... |
| How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
She
hold... | I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I
... |
| I went to see my doctor to see if he could help
... | I'd say he was spineless.
Yes, about as
spinel... |
| If there were no food left, what could people
do... | In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a
32-... |
| Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to
co... | Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to
eat?
... |
| Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bacon !
Bacon
who ?... | Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bean !
Bean
who ?
... |
| Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beef !
Beef
who ?
... | Knock Knock
Who's there !
Butter
!
Butter who... |
| Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the
... | Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch
D... |
| My Aunt Maud had so many candles
on her last
b... | My brother's on a seafood
diet.
Really?
Ye... |
| On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker
... | One day, Bill and Tom went to a
restaurant for
... |
| Overweight is something that just sort of
snac... | Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey
... |
| Q. What's worse
than finding a worm in the
app... | Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. He
wa... |
| Q:
What what can you make from baked beans
and... | Q: Ever wonder
about people who pay $2 for a
b... |
| Q: What did one strawberry say to the
other?
A:... | Q: What do you call a
fake noodle?
A: An
Impa... |
| Q: What do you call cheese that's not
yours?
A:... | Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula:
Mar... |
| Several women were discussing what they should
h... | Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay
wait... |
| Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what
... | The
American tourist in Dublin had been
compla... |
| The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and
... | The snack bar next door to an
atom smasher
was... |
| They say she has a sharp tongue.
Yes, she can
... | Three cookies were crossing the road when the
... |
| Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
... | Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are
... |
| What
cake wanted to rule the world?
Attila t... | What are apricots?
Where monkeys sleep. |
| What are the four food groups?
For
bachelors:... | What cheese is made
backwards?
Edam. |
| What could you do if you were on a
desert
isla... | What did the biscuit say when it
saw two
frien... |
| What did the female mushroom say
about the
mal... | What did the ice cream say
to the unhappy
cake... |
| What did the snake say when he was offered a
pie... | What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered
h... |
| What do you call an egg from outer space?
An
un... | What do you call two
rows of cabbages ?
A
dua... |
| What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter ... | What do you get if you cross an alien and a
ho... |
| What food are you able to can?
Cannibal (can
ab... | What food is good for the brain?
Noodle
soup. |
| What ghost is handy in the
kitchen?
A
recipe... | What happens
if you play tabletennis with a
ba... |
| What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A
... | What is the title of the new Vietnamamese
cook... |
| What looks just
like half a loaf of bread?
I... | What musical instrument goes with cheese?
Pick... |
| What sort of soup do
skeletons like?
One
wit... | What vegetable needs a plumber?
A leek. |
| What's a doll's favorite food?
Barbie-Q! | What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a
far... |
| What's red and green and wears
boxing
gloves? ... | What's red and invisible?
No
tomatoes. |
| What's the best day to eat bacon?
Fry-day. | What's the difference between a biscuit and a
mo... |
| What's the difference between a homeless and a
... | What's the difference between a vampire
and
a ... |
| What's the fastest cake in the world?
Meriiiii... | When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
b... |
| Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine?
... | Why are oranges like bells?
You can peel
(peal)... |
| Why can't you make bread like my mother?
I
wou... | Why did the biscuit cry?
Because its mother
ha... |
| Why did the grape cross the road?
To get
away... | Why did the teacher have
her hair in a bun?
... |
| Why did your brother give up his job in the
bisc... | WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a
nice... |
| WIFE: The 2 things I cook best
are meatloaf
an... | Would you like a duck egg for supper?
Only if
... |
