| "Do you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I
c... | A
young man was strolling down a street. As
he... |
| A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why
d... | A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last
... |
| A girl walked over to her neighbor's for her
m... | A guy goes to a girl's house
for the first
tim... |
| A husband and wife were shopping when the wife
... | A magician was employed by a
Shipping Line
to ... |
| A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a
... | A man is hired by the circus to perform a
necess... |
| A man walks into a palm reader store and asks
th... | A man was given the job of painting the white
li... |
| A man went in to the bank and asked to see the
... | A monastery in the English countryside was
havin... |
| A newlywed couple, after bringing their
luggag... | A wife and her
husband were having a dinner
pa... |
| A woman reported
the disappearance of her
husb... | A woman walks into a bank
in New York City
and... |
| A young banker decided to get his first tailor
m... | A young family moved into a
house next door
to... |
| A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother
... | Abraham wanted a
new suit, so he bought a
nice... |
| After a visit to the circus, Geoff and Don were
... | After wedding a young couple rented a town house
... |
| An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert
... | An engineer, an experimental physicist, a
theo... |
| At a
country-club party a young man was
introd... | At the
end of camp, Julie won the prize for
ne... |
| At the scene of a bank raid
the police
officer... | Bank manager: I'm sorry, sir, you can't open
an ... |
| Before going to Europe on business, a man drove
... | Big Louie the
Torpedo was becoming
increasingl... |
| Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and
discuss... | Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was
kille... |
| Camper:
There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselo... | Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor:... |
| Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor:... | Clown: Why are you wearing such a large
shirt?
... |
| Coleman
moved to Wyoming and was sitting in
th... | Dad, did you manage to
fix my toy? No, it's
no... |
| Dawn was
breaking over the camp grounds.
Tony ... | Did you hear
about the fire in the rednecks
li... |
| Did you hear
about the ghoul's favorite
hotel?... | Did you hear about the man in the electric chair
... |
| Did you hear about the man who jumped in the
H... | Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid?
H... |
| Do you believe in love at first sight or do I
ha... | Do you believe in love at first sight or do I
ha... |
| Do you know the difference between genius and
... | Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two
mot... |
| Do you love me?
Of course
Then whisper
somethi... | Freda: Boys whisper they love me.
Fred: Well,
t... |
| Harry was telling his friend about his holiday
i... | How
many civil servants does it take to
change... |
| How did the octopus lovers walk down the
road?
... | How do you cook vegatables in the
microwave
? ... |
| How do you get pikachu on to a boat? You
pokem... | How is a bell obedient? It sounds off only when
... |
| How many applicants does it take to change
a
l... | How many archaeologists does it take to change a
... |
| How many architects does it take to change a
lig... | How many bankers does it take to change a light
... |
| How many brewers does it take to
change a
ligh... | How many cashiers does it take
to change a
lig... |
| How many librarians does it take to screw in a
... | How many social
scientists does it take to
cha... |
| How many tax advisors does it take to change a
l... | How many tax auditors
does it take to find a
$... |
| How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. "You're welcome.
" | I used to not get on with my
mother-in-law,
bu... |
| I'm not rich like Jack, don't have a mansion
l... | If you need a loan, who do you see in the
bank?
... |
| It was so hot when we went on holiday last
yea... | John was hard at work with
the broom in his
fa... |
| Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow.
W... | Mad men are given a test to prove they are
getti... |
| Martin asked David, "In which
state does the
O... | Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp.
... |
| Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies
toda... | Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your
gra... |
| My
mother-in-law was bitten by a dog
yesterday... | My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble
... |
| My mother-in-law has got
so many double
chins ... | My mother-in-law is like a fine French
Impressio... |
| My teacher loves me - she puts
kisses
against ... | New camper: I
thought you said this camp has
n... |
| On the last day of camp everyone was asked the
s... | Once there was a millionaire
who had a
collect... |
| One afternoon, a man was riding in
the back
of... | One day a wife complained, "This wall clock
almo... |
| One day the counsellor got a
phone call. It
wa... | Pierre was a camper from France. In his
honour... |
| Q. Have you heard the latest
scandal? A. Dr.
P... | Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with
... |
| Q. What did
dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New
Je... | Q. What did Snow white say when her photos
did... |
| Q. What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden
... | Q. What do you call a ginger bread man wit one
l... |
| Q. What is the bigest pencil
in the world?
A. ... | Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A.
Al... |
| Q. Why did the belt go to jail?
A. Because he
h... | Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A.
... |
| Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they
... | Q:
How many Survivors does it take to screw
in... |
| Q: How many
existentialists does it take to
sc... | Q: How many circus performers does it take to
ch... |
| Q: How many Mafia
hitmen does it take to
chang... | Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I
"NEE... |
| Q: What did the hat
say to the necktie? A:
You... | Q: What's
black, white and read all over?
A: A... |
| Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in
... | Q: Where do people who say "shoot" and "darn" go
... |
| Q: Why couldn't the animals
on Noah's Ark
play... | Q: Why did the
scientist install a knocker
on ... |
| Q: Why did the clown cross the road? A: To
fin... | Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So
hi... |
| Q: Why did the haunted house not
like rain?
A:... | Q: Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom? A: To
w... |
| Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because
the... | Question: What goes up and never comes
down?
A... |
| Sammy: My parents are sending me to
camp.
Tammy... | Seems a guy was driving for hours
thu
desolate... |
| Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is
yo... | Sherlock Holmes
and Matthew Watson were on a
c... |
| So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down
... | So the bus
driver said to the string, "Are
you... |
| Standing at the edge of the lake, a
man saw
a ... | Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me
Steve... |
| Steve,
Bob and Jeff are all working on some
ve... | Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents
... |
| The
Rocky Mountains are very big and far
apart... | The Counselor
was talking to the campers
about... |
| The Counselor was greeting the new
campers.
'So... | The garbage men were just about to leave the
s... |
| The head Counselor gathered all the campers
to... | The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the
re... |
| The strong young man at the construction site
... | The world's most incredibly lazy man found
a m... |
| The young Southern belle came to the hospital
fo... | The young wife was in tears when she opened
th... |
| There
was a guy walking down the street in
San... | There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
... |
| There was an engineer who had an
exceptional
g... | They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by
lov... |
| This morning I felt that today was going to be
... | Three friends were stranded on a desert
island... |
| Three men stood before a judge on a charge of
... | Two cannibals just finished a big
meal and
one... |
| Two friends: - I heard that you have
founded
a... | Two guys are talking:
(1) - I've bought a
tour ... |
| Two women were sitting by the pool, and one
as... | Well, a man was driving down a country road, and
... |
| What did one amorous flea say to the other?
I
l... | What did one bell say to the other?
"Be my
val... |
| What did one rock pool say to the other rock
p... | What did the bell say when it fell in the water?
... |
| What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"... | What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I
l... |
| What do
lovesick owls say when it's
raining?
... | What do
you get if you cross a toilet with a
p... |
| What do you
call an amorous insect?
The
love ... | What do you call a bell
wearing a tutu
?
A be... |
| What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come
b... | What do you call a guard
with a hundred
legs? ... |
| What do you call a man who cleans out toilets
?
... | What do you call a nun with a
washing
machine ... |
| What do you call a tube with a degree? A
graduat... | What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ? An
... |
| What do you call two
birds in love?
Tweethea... | What do you use to cut the ocean? A
seasaw |
| What does a man who loves his car do
on
Februa... | What happened to the wizard who ran away with
th... |
| What happened when the monster kissed his one
... | What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career
... |
| What is the difference
between a English
actua... | What is the most breathless thing on television
... |
| What is the most romantic city in England?
Lov... | What kind of bell doesn't ring?
A
dumbbell. |
| What kind of hair do
oceans have?
...Wavy ... | What runs all day but
never gets tired?
Water. |
| What would you get if you crossed a
monster
wi... | What's a cow's
favourite love
song?
When I fa... |
| What's a cow's favourite love
song?
When I fa... | What's blue and sings alone? - Dan
Ackroyd. |
| What's the
best way to increase the size of
yo... | What's the difference between
ignorance and
in... |
| What's the difference between a sigh, a car and
... | When Fred was applying for
a credit card,
the ... |
| Where did the fortune-teller go on her
vacatio... | Where do mermaids go to see movies?
...The
div... |
| Which painter always had a very bad cold?
Vinc... | Who does a ghoul fall in
love with?
His
ghoul... |
| Why are
Saturday and Sunday so strong?
Because... | Why can't you keep secrets in a bank? Because
of... |
| Why did the boxer date the pretty girl? Because
... | Why did the janitor take early retirement?
Bec... |
| Why did the kangaroo love the little
Australia... | Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin
... |
| Why did the teacher decide to become an
electric... | Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped
Easter ... |
| Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate
n... | Why was the banker bored? Because he lost
intere... |
