| "Can you read Chinese?" "Yes, but only
when it's... | "How come you're only
watering
half your lawn?... |
| "Say, your house is
burning."
"That's okay. I g... | "What did Shawn
like most about his
trip to Pa... |
| "Why do rednecks act like
such
morons?'' "Who ... | A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia
receive... |
| A boy went into the local department
store whe... | A guy walking down a street one
afternoon passes... |
| A man in a swimming
pool was on the
very top d... | A man went into a pet shop to buy a
parrot. He w... |
| A student in Belle, West Virginia
was suspende... | A stupid glazier was examining a broken
window... |
| A stupid man was
struggling out of
his house w... | According to the
Knight-Ridder News
Service, t... |
| After interviewing a particularly
short-spoken
... | An army sergeant told Private Perkins
to go to... |
| An idiot decided to start a chicken
farm, so h... | An idiotic laborer was told by an
equally idio... |
| An Illinois man pretending to have a
gun kidna... | An Irishman saw a notice outside a
police statio... |
| And then there was the Newfie who was
found de... | Calvin went to Pearson's Pet Shop to
complain ... |
| Carmella and Mario were out on their
first dat... | Chaffee
could talk on any subject
whether he k... |
| Delmer: How'd you like the play last
night over ... | Did
you hear about the fool who
keeps going ro... |
| Did
you hear about the Puerto Rican
secretary ... | Did you
hear about the Texan who
moved to Okla... |
| Did you hear
about the dimwit who
was so dumb ... | Did you hear
about the hillbilly who
went into... |
| Did you hear
about the idiot who
made his chic... | Did you hear
about the stupid
water-polo playe... |
| Did you hear about
the Brooklyn
bubblebrain wh... | Did you hear about
the stupid
woodworm?
He w... |
| Did you hear about the
Baton Rouge
bride who c... | Did you hear about the
Iranian
terrorist who s... |
| Did you hear about the dimwit who went
to visit ... | Did you hear about the dumb
father
who returne... |
| Did you hear about the dumb father who
got up an... | Did you hear about the Finn who
spent a fortun... |
| Did you hear about the Georgia
accountant who ... | Did you hear about the guy
from
Newfoundland w... |
| Did you hear about the hillbilly who
asked his... | Did you hear about the idiot
who
invented the ... |
| Did you hear about the idiot who
planted Cheer... | Did you hear about the idiot who filled
out an e... |
| Did you hear about the Irishman who
tried to s... | Did you hear about the Mexican
bricklayer who ... |
| Did you hear about the Montana moron
who went lo... | Did you hear about the Murfreesboro
muddlebrai... |
| Did you hear about the Oklahoma
idiot who marr... | Did you hear about the Omaha mother who
got ti... |
| Did you hear about the rookie Rhode
Island cop w... | Did you hear about the stupid
Kamikaze pilot ?... |
| Did you hear about the stupid
photographer?
H... | Did you hear about the stupid wizard?
He could... |
| Did you hear about the village idiot
buying bi... | Doctor: That deafness cure help your
brother?
... |
| Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham
at a Tus... | During a break on a North Dakota office
buildi... |
| Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison
electrical repai... | Fire
investigators on Maui have
determined the... |
| Four Independence boys, Pugh, Sumter,
Kilby and ... | Fred: Did you hear about the Irish
window
clea... |
| Fred: Do you think I'm a fool?
Harry: No. But ... | Guidry called in Plotke, the painter,
for an e... |
| Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look!
Folsom: You c... | He is so dumb, he thinks an agent is
someone who... |
| Henderson bought a new
car and,
after he left ... | Holton
sat down in a Green Bay
restaurant and ... |
| Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid?
Jessie... | Housekeeper: Professor, there's a bill
collect... |
| How do Alaska CB radio operators say
"10-4"?
... | How do Filipinos count money?
One-a, two-a, th... |
| How do you confuse an idiot?
Give
him two spad... | How do you keep an imbecile
happy
all his life... |
| How does a Russian Aeroflot
pilot
navigate? By... | How does an idiot call for his dog?
He puts tw... |
| I
was sitting in my science class,
when the te... | I can't understand the critics
saying that onl... |
| I don't know
what it is that makes
you stupid ... | I live in a semi-rural area. We
recently had a... |
| I saw a pen in a
store the other
day. I picked... | Iraq has just ordered two
thousand
septic tank... |
| IRS Agent: What's all this? Bracken:
Well, you... | Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to
cash his ... |
| Jett was trying to
light a match.
He struck th... | Jim sees his neighbor out back building
a bunk... |
| Kennen was having a drink in a saloon
when his n... | Kowalski and Janzek left Hamtramack and
went out... |
| Loomis: Does your dog have a license?
Fenton: He... | Mayne and Willard, two idiots, were in
a rowboat... |
| Melburn was strolling along downtown
Natchez wit... | My
friend is so stupid he thinks
that an autog... |
| My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and
orde... | My friend is so silly that he spent two
weeks in... |
| My friend is so stupid that he
thinks twice be... | My neighbor works in the operations
department i... |
| One idiot said to the other, "You
know, there ... | Personnel Director: What would you do
if you b... |
| Police in
Radnor, Pennsylvania,
interrogated a... | Police in Oakland, California spent two
hours ... |
| Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish
people that... | Q: Have you heard about the Irish
abortion
cli... |
| Q: How many idiots who ask stupid
questions do... | QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take
his bedro... |
| Rigby drove into the city with his girl
to cat... | She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter
is a ver... |
| Shingles were loose on Pennock's roof,
and
he ... | Sister: Why are you putting
the
saddle on back... |
| Slim walked into his local post office
and not... | Swedish
business consultant Ulf af
Trolle labo... |
| Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in
the whole... | The Albanian planted lightbulbs in
his garden.... |
| The July temperature in
Joplin
climbed over th... | The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager
to count ... |
| Then there was the Puerto
Rican
surgeon who ma... | There were two guys working for the
city. One ... |
| Titus was on a
Knoxville elevator
with several... | Treadwell walked into a Biloxi
stationery store ... |
| Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on
the ro... | Two men were digging a ditch on a very
hot
day... |
| Two men were knocking in nails to
the sides of... | Two newfies walked into a pet
store. The first... |
| Tyfus applied for a job in a factory.
The co... | What did the idiot do to the flea in
his ear?
... |
| What did the stupid ghost do?
He
used to climb... | What do Filipinos call
Canada?
Upper U.S. |
| What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carv... | What do you call a stupid skeleton?
Bonehead. |
| What do you call an alien
starship
that drips ... | What do you get when you cross an idiot
with a w... |
| What has
eight legs and an IQ of
forty? Four g... | When a small Montana village decided to
buy a ne... |
| Why are Canadians given only a half
hour for l... | Why can't the Philippines field an ice
hockey te... |
| Why did Rudolfo salute the box of
Cornflakes in ... | Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away
?
Bec... |
| Why did the Aggie call 911 in the
car wash?
... | Why did the idiot drive his pickup
truck over th... |
| Why did the idiot have his sundial
floodlit ?
S... | Why did the idiot plant nickels in his
garden?
... |
| Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle
neck sweate... | Why does the Philippines ban rectal
thermometers... |
| Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were
standing one o... | Young Bradley arrived at his date's
house wearin... |
| Zack and Tybe, two
Alabama farm
boys, bought t... |
