| "And how's yer wife, Pat?"
"Sure,
she do be ... | "Cash, check or charge?" I asked after
folding i... |
| "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried
to... | "Get this." said the bloke to his mates,
"Last... |
| "Honey," said this
husband to his wife,
"I inv... | "I
bet you don't know what day this is",
said ... |
| "I was in a very generous mood today," a
woman s... | "Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a
wi... |
| "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Brian
tol... | "Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a
divorce?" ... |
| "Will the father be present during the
birth?"... | "You and your husband
don't seem to have
an aw... |
| A
biologist phones his wife from his
office an... | A
child at a Christian school was
studying the... |
| A
dietician was once addressing a large
audien... | A
man was walking in the street when he
heard ... |
| A
married couple was in a terrible
accident wh... | A
police officer in a small town stopped
a mot... |
| A boy is about to go on his first
date,
and is... | A bum asks a man for $2.
The man asked,
"Will y... |
| A concerned husband went to a
doctor to
talk a... | A couple came upon a wishing
well. The
husband... |
| A couple was celebrating their golden wedding
an... | A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking
c... |
| A family was having dinner on
Mother's
Day. Fo... | A father came
home from a long business
trip t... |
| A fellow was very much in
love with a
beautifu... | A few moments after the daughter announced
her... |
| A friend of
mine told me he had signed up
with... | A funeral service is being held in a
church fo... |
| A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond
ring f... | A guy gets home early from work and hears
stra... |
| A guy is dating three women and can't decide
w... | A guy is down on his luck. He takes his
last $... |
| A guy runs out of a Las
Vegas hotel and
says t... | A henpecked husband was advised by a
psychiatr... |
| A husband and wife
went to the
fairgrounds. Th... | A husband and wife were at a party chatting
with... |
| A jealous husband hires a private detective
to c... | A journalist had done a
story on gender
roles ... |
| A lady with a
large flowery hat was
stopped at... | A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom
an... |
| A little girl
and a little boy were at
day car... | A little kid comes running into the
backyard.
... |
| A man
answers the phone and has the
following ... | A man and woman where on their honeymoon
after... |
| A man brings his
wife a glass of water
and two... | A man calls his
family
doctor:
man: Doctor,... |
| A man comes home and
hears hard breathing
fema... | A man comes home early from work
and
finds his... |
| A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a
party, a... | A man has six children and is very proud of
his ... |
| A man is incomplete until he is married.
After... | A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
de... |
| A man really
loved a woman, but he was
just to... | A man took his wife to the doctors.
After
a sho... |
| A man was complaining to a
friend.
"I
had it ... | A man was traveling down a country road when
he ... |
| A mother and her child were at a wedding.
A ... | A person
receives a telegram informing
him abo... |
| A psychiatrist visited a
California
mental ins... | A recent study showed that the average
husband
... |
| A recent survey done
by marriage experts
shows... | A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing
his... |
| A student engineer in the office got engaged
som... | A wealthy man sat in his attorney's
office.
"Do... |
| A wife was
berating her husband. He
motioned f... | A woman accompanied her husband to the
doctor'... |
| A woman and her lover are on the bed in the
woma... | A woman decided to have her portrait painted.
Sh... |
| A woman entered the hospital to deliver
her 15... | A woman got a problem with her closet door -
it ... |
| A woman was in court
charged with wounding her
... | A young couple drove several miles down a
countr... |
| A young couple got married and
left on
their h... | A young husband with an inferiority complex
in... |
| A young lady came home and told her Mother
that ... | Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He
didn't ... |
| After she woke
up, a woman told her
husband, "... | After shopping for most of the day, a couple
r... |
| After the fall in
Garden of Eden, Adam
was wal... | After the third day of a really torrid
honeymo... |
| An English professor wrote the words, "woman
w... | An explorer
goes into an undiscovered
tomb for... |
| An Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets... | An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not
w... |
| An old man and woman were married for
years ev... | An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if
he... |
| As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided
to h... | As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife
w... |
| At a friend's wedding, everything went
smoothly ... | At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8
... |
| At a local coffee bar, a young woman was
expou... | Attorney to witness: "What was the
first
thing... |
| BARTENDER: I think you've had enough,
sir.
DRUN... | Before we got married,
I caught her in my
arms... |
| Both of my marriages have been
disappointing. ... | But let's get real here guys, I mean who
exactly... |
| Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't
get ... | During the wedding
rehearsal, the groom
approa... |
| Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his
wif... | For their 25th wedding
anniversary, a man
deci... |
| Four
married guys go golfing on Sunday.
During... | Hey, you just shot my wife.
I'm so sorry,
have ... |
| How do you
turn a Fox into a Pit
Bull?
Marr... | Hubby - You always carry my photo in your
handba... |
| Husband: What do you love most, my
natural bea... | I know
a husband and wife who have
separate be... |
| I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
fir... | I overheard a friend
telling his pal, "I
can't... |
| I've got trouble with the wife again - she
cam... | I've never been much on fashion, but got
quite... |
| If your wife comes out of the kitchen to
whine... | In olden times, it is reported that
sacrifices
... |
| In the midst of a veritable downpour, a
gallant ... | In West Kerry, the wife commented, "When we
were... |
| It's
not true that married men live
longer tha... | It's for my mother-in-law," explained the
mourne... |
| It's not what you say, but the way you say
it.
... | Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave
... |
| Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young
couple... | John: "I'm a man of few words."
Bill:
"I'm ma... |
| Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his
wife, c... | Lee was known among his friends for the
punctu... |
| Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it
i... | Marriage is a three
ring circus:
- Engagem... |
| Marriage is a three-ring circus:
Engagement ri... | Marriage is nature's way of preventing
people ... |
| Married life
is very frustrating. In the
first... | Miles Dobson was away from home on business
in... |
| Moe: My wife converted me to
religion.
Joe: Rea... | Mrs.
Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh
Marie,... |
| Mrs. Dugan and Mrs. Riley were talking one
day a... | Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple,
wen... |
| My
wife and I were watching some TV show
the o... | My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that
if ... |
| Never before had Sue looked in the box that
her ... | Night. A sleeping couple
is lying in a
bed. Do... |
| Not that my wife's the
jealous type or
anythin... | NOVICE: Do clever men make good
husbands?
SAG... |
| Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
pok... | Old Farmer
Johnson was dying. The family
was s... |
| Old Man On A Bench
An old man of ninety
was si... | On his way out of
church, Frank stopped
at the... |
| Once there was a millionaire, who collected
live... | One night, Peter was home
watching TV
when his... |
| One of the bachelors in the
apartment
developm... | Personally I think one of the greatest things
ab... |
| Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for
me... | Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A.
They'r... |
| Q. What should you do if you see your
ex-husba... | Q:
What do you call two spiders who just
got m... |
| Q: How do you know when you're at a
hillbilly
... | Q: How is a
marriage like a hot
bath?
A: Once... |
| QUESTION: Do you know what
is honeymoon?
ANSWE... | QUESTION: What is
honeymoon? ANSWER: That
brie... |
| QUESTION: Why should a honeymoon only be six
day... | Returning from her vacation, the
young
secreta... |
| Sarah was reading a newspaper,
while her
husba... | She was two thirds married once.
What do
you me... |
| Some people
ask the secret of Anthony's
long m... | Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a
successfu... |
| Son: How much does it cost to get married,
Dad?
... | Son: Is it true?
Dad, I heard that in
ancient ... |
| The
child was a typical four-year-old
girl - c... | The
newlywed wife said to her husband
when he ... |
| The angry wife met her husband at the door.
Hi... | The couple was dining out when the wife
notice... |
| The following
conversation took place one
morn... | The groom, upon his engagement, went to his
fa... |
| The local courtroom was packed
as
testimony be... | The man approached the very beautiful woman
in... |
| The man told his doctor that he wasn't able
to d... | The newlyweds
arrived at the front desk
of the... |
| The room was full of
pregnant women and
their ... | The sailor came home from a secret two year
mi... |
| The wedding was over, and the reception
was in... | The young immigrant couple had just left the
c... |
| The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for
... | There was once a wife so jealous
that
when her... |
| There were three guys in a bar. Two are
talking ... | They were married, but since the argument
they h... |
| This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It
was... | This man was sitting quietly reading his
paper o... |
| Today is my twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary. ... | Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing
... |
| Two ladies were hanging out together and one
was... | Two men are having an awfully slow round
of
gol... |
| Two men were changing in the locker room
after a... | Two men were remembering their
wedding
days. "... |
| We have a young married couple in the
neighbor... | What happened at the cannibal's wedding
party?... |
| What is the one thing that all men at
singles ... | What's
the difference between an Irish
wedding... |
| What's the best way to get a man to remember
y... | When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his
mon... |
| When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he
couldn't s... | Where did the burgers go after
their
wedding?
... |
| Why did the 280-pound girl
marry the
400-pound... | Why is a bride always out of luck on her
wedding... |
| Why was the broom late ?
It over swept
! | Wife, opening mail, to spouse: "The bank says
th... |
| Wife: "Do you think of me when you're away
dar... | Wife: Who
was that on the
phone?
Husband: Wro... |
| You know the
honeymoon is pretty much
over whe... | Young
Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just
got my... |
| young couple
were on their honeymoon. The
husb... |
