| 'Here's a good book,' said the
sales
assistant... | 1st Monster: What is that son of
yours
doing t... |
| A monster walked into the council rent office
... | A very tall monster with several arms and
legs, ... |
| An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven
... | Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three
... |
| Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs
a... | Did you hear
about the monster who had an
extr... |
| Did you hear
about the monster with five
legs?... | Did you hear about the
monster who lost
all hi... |
| Did you hear about the Irish monster who went
... | Did you hear about the monster who
sent
his pi... |
| Did you hear about the monster who had an
extr... | Did you hear about the monster who had twelve
ar... |
| Did you hear about the monster who went to a
hol... | Did you hear about the monster with
one
eye at... |
| Did you hear the
joke about the two
monsters w... | Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest
... |
| FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a
monster with
one... | FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner?
SECOND MO... |
| First monster: I
have a hunch.
Second
monste... | FIRST MONSTER: I fancy
eating the city of
Hong... |
| FIRST MONSTER: I'm going
to a party
tonight.
... | First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's
hang... |
| First monster: That
pretty girl over there
jus... | Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when
sudden... |
| Frankenstein: Help, I've got a short circuit!
... | FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I
counte... |
| FRED: Your monster was
making a terrible
noise... | Girl Monster 1: "I hear you've met the
perfect... |
| How can you tell if a monster has a
glass
eye?... | How can you tell if a monster has a
glass
eye?... |
| How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built
... | How did Frankenstein's
monster eat his
lunch?
... |
| How did the monster cure his sore throat?
He s... | How did the world's tallest monster become
short... |
| How do man-eating monsters count to a
thousand? ... | How do you address a monster?
Very
politely. |
| How do you communicate with the Loch Ness
Mons... | How do you stop a monster digging up your
gard... |
| How do you stop a monster from
smelling?
Cut of... | How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
... |
| How does a
monster begin a fairy
tale?
"Once ... | How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?
Bolt u... |
| HWhy did the monster lie on his back?
To
trip ... | If storks bring
human babies, what bring
monst... |
| Igor: Only
this morning Dr Frankenstein
comple... | Little monster:
Mom, Mom, what's for tea?
Mo... |
| Little monster: Mom I've finished.
Can I
leave... | Little monster: Mom,
why can't we have
dustbin... |
| Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I
leav... | Mommy monster:
Don't eat that uranium.
Littl... |
| MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you
... | Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein
invente... |
| Monster: Where do fleas go in
winter?
Werewo... | Mr Monster:
Oi, hurry up with my supper.
Mrs... |
| MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice
to m... | On her annual visit to another planet,
an
old ... |
| On which day do monsters eat people?
Chewsday. | The monster spent a fortune
on deodorants
befo... |
| Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the
menu, ... | What
happened when Dr Frankenstein
swallowed s... |
| What aftershave do monsters wear?
Brute. | What brings the monster's babies? The
Frankens... |
| What can a monster do that you
can't do?
Cou... | What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his
g... |
| What did Frankenstein's
monster say when
he wa... | What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to
the
... |
| What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the
o... | What did the big, hairy monster do when he
los... |
| What did the monster say to his
psychiatrist?
'... | What did the monster say to the
Thanksgiving t... |
| What do sea monsters have for dinner?
Fish
and ... | What do they have for lunch at Monster
School?
... |
| What do you
call a clever monster?
Frank Ein... | What do you call
a huge, ugly, slobbering,
fur... |
| What do you call a monster with a
wooden
head?... | What do you call a monster with two wooden
hea... |
| What do you call a mouse that can pick up a
mo... | What do you do with a green monster?
Put
it in... |
| What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps
on... | What do you get if you cross
a tall green
mons... |
| What do you get if you cross a bird with a
mon... | What do you get if you cross a monster with a
... |
| What do you get if you cross a plum
with a
man... | What do young female monsters do at parties
?
T... |
| What does a monster do when he loses his head?
... | What does a monster mom say to her
kids at
din... |
| What does a polite monster say when he meets
you... | What does Frankenstein's monster call a
screwdri... |
| What does the hungry monster get after he's
ea... | What happened to Frankenstein's monster on
the... |
| What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son?
He... | What happened to Ray when he met the
man-eatin... |
| What happened when the monster stole a
bottle ... | What happened when the monster stole a bottle
... |
| What happens if a big hairy monster sits in
fr... | What is a monster's favourite
drink?
Demonade. |
| What is a monster's favourite society?
The
Cons... | What kind of book did
Frankenstein's
monster l... |
| What kind of monster can sit on the end of
your ... | What kind of monster is safe
to put in the
was... |
| What makes an ideal present for
a monster?
F... | What monster flies his kite in a rain
storm?
Be... |
| What monster plays the most April Fool's
jokes... | What should you call a polite, friendly, kind,
g... |
| What should you do if a monster runs
through y... | What was the inscription on the tomb of
Franke... |
| What would you get if you crossed a monster
wi... | What would you get if you crossed a monster
wi... |
| What's a monsters favorite play?
Romeo and
Ghou... | What's big and hairy and goes 'beep
beep'?
A mo... |
| What's big and ugly and drinks
out of the
wron... | What's big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has
sixt... |
| What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and
bel... | What's the
hardest part of making monster
soup... |
| What's the difference
between
Frankenstein and... | What's the difference between a dim monster
and ... |
| What's the difference between a monster
and a ... | Where do space monsters live?
In far
distant te... |
| Where do you find monster snails?
On the
end of... | Where does
the bride of Frankenstein have
her ... |
| Where is the monster's temple?
On the
side of ... | Why are monsters huge and hairy and
ugly?-
Beca... |
| Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to
... | Why did Frankenstein's monster give up
boxing?... |
| Why did the
monster paint himself in
rainbow c... | Why did the monster
take his nose apart?
To ... |
| Why did the monster drink ten liters of
antifr... | Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
To
see... |
| Why did the monster get a ticket at
Thanksgiving... | Why did the monster go into hospital?
To
have h... |
| Why did the monster put the
cake in the
freeze... | Why did the monster stop playing with his
brothe... |
| Why did the monster take a dead man for a
drive ... | Why is
the monsters' football pitch
wet?
Beca... |
| Why is stupid monster
like a
jack-o'-lantern? ... | Why was the big, hairy,
two-headed monster
top... |
| Why was the monster standing on his head?
He w... |
